Jack Purcell vs. Andi Markella

Pulling

The screen opens and Jack Purcell is sitting in a large sofa chair which is black in colour. He looks around the room which appears to be his lounge as he smiles to himself. Jack scratches his arms and adjusts his aviator sunglasses before raising his body up and looking towards the camera which begins to pan in on his face.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Okay, you are probably watching this and thinking to yourself. What does Jack Purcell have to say and if your not then it goes without saying, you’re an idiot. But you are probably also thinking to yourself why is Jack Purcell sitting in his living room cutting a promo? Why is Jack Purcell not in America at a DUW cutting his promo?

Jack Purcell adjusts his sunglasses before looking back up to the camera and proceeding to talk.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
To answer that question truthfully, I can’t deal with being in America full time anymore. So Dave has agreed to let me return to England whenever I want so I don’t have to feel the vile stench of whatever crappy little state I have to visit with DUW. The other reason of course is that I want to get straight to the point with all of this. I don’t want to be interrupted by pointless booing and anything else that really isn’t relevant to me. So without…

The doorbell rings while Jack Purcell is in mid sentence he sighs and leans his head back into his chair.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Fucking hell…

Jack Purcell stands out his chair and walks out of the lounge into a large hallway which has a door at the opposite end that Jack is standing at. He walks across the hall and opens the door where a man stands there. He looks to be about twenty with dirty hands and elbows, he wears an old t-shirt which has seen better days and a pair of black ripped jeans.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
What?

Door to Door Salesman
Would you like to buy some of these brilliant CDs?

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Bloody hell! You see that sticker on the door. It says, we don’t buy or sell at the door. And there is a fucking reason for that, I don’t want to be hassled by ex convicts like you who will be back in the slammer quicker than I can say so!

Door to Door Salesman
That’s a bit heavy! I’m only trying to sell stuff, do something good in the world.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
If you want to do something good in the world, jump off a bridge.

Jack Purcell slams the door in the face of the man as the camera shows the salesman walk away to the next door. The camera comes back to show Jack Purcell return to his living room. He begins to speak again.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
So let’s forget that part didn’t happen. So without any further ado, let’s get started with this mind blowing production. As you probably saw, I destroyed Iceman at the last PPV and now I am here to open the show at this DUW vs. LVW business which I honestly couldn’t give two shits about. Let’s face the truth here, I could win the LVW title and DUW title with my eyes closed and hands behind my back, so I would like to know why I am just opening the show. The only logical reason I can come up with is that people will watch my match and be so impressed, they will expect to see even more later in the show. They will be very disappointed that neither half of the main will be as good as the opener’s victor which will of course be me. I am facing…

Jack Purcell is interrupted by his mobile phone ringing. He sighs as he stands up and answers it.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
What?

Other Line |=| Double Glazing Company
Hello there! Would you like to have a new installation of double glazing…

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
No I fucking don’t! Now that is the third time you’ve called me this week, don’t you get the idea that I do not want you’re shitty little windows!

Other Line |=| Double Glazing Company
Well, keep our number which is, 0147…

At this point, Jack Purcell hangs up the phone and looks out the front window; a little kid is playing football with his friend in the road and blasts the ball at his friend’s face who ducks. The ball flies through the window of Jack’s house smashing it.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Fucking hell! Where the hell are the kids parents to discipline the little brat?

There is a knock on the door again and Jack goes to rush it. A the nervous child stands on the doorstep.

Johnny |=| The Little Boy
Can I have my ball back please?

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
No, you can show me to your parents so they can sort out what you just did to my window!

Johnny nervously leads Jack Purcell to a house round the corner. Jack Purcell knocks on the door aggressively as a woman answers. She is wearing a mini skirt and has long black hair. Jack Purcell looks at her breasts as he speaks.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Mother I’d Like To…

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
I am not the mother, I baby-sit the brat.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Well the brat just broke my bloody window with his football.

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
Oh my lord, come in and we can talk about this.

Jack Purcell winks at the camera as he replies.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Talk…

They walk into the house as Jack Purcell fixes his eyes on the ass of Jennifer.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
So what exactly is there to talk about?

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
Well, how are we going to pay for this window?

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Well, just make sure the brat is punished. This kind of stuff happens too often, he is very loud, how come you don’t make him stay in.

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
Look at the kid! I make sure he is out the house as much as possible. I always hope that a nice guy will turn up hoping for something to be paid back and maybe we can both come to an agreement about this…

Jack Purcell looks at Jennifer Smith as she bites her bottom lip suggestively at Jack Purcell. He smiles as they both stand up.

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
Johnny, go to your room, I’ll be back in about an hour, I’ve just got pop out to the shop. Is that okay?

Johnny |=| The Little Boy
The shop is just down the road though?

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
I have a lot of things to buy.

Johnny |=| The Little Boy
Like condoms…

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Just because you’re not getting any…

Jack and Jennifer leave the house leaving Johnny to play on his own. They go back to Jack’s where they look at the broken window.

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
So you’re the guy who lives in the big house then?

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
When I’m not kicking the ass of some fat American that considers himself not only as a wrestler but a wrestler that is better than me…

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
Oh my god! I thought you looked like that hot wrestler!

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
I think it’s more that, hot, irresistible, talented, fast, strong, muscular, masterful wrestler. That all the guys want to be and all the girls want to be with. The Americans do not realise it but I am everyone’s personal Jesus.

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
Well, you can be my personal Jesus all night long.

Without any further ado, the two embrace as the screen fades. A brief highlight of Jack Purcell’s last match where he defeated Iceman shows. The screen fades back to Jennifer looking worn out in bed with Jack. They are both covered by a plain black duvet but it is obvious they are wearing nothing and obvious what they have been doing.

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
Wow! That was some real wrestling.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Well, I have to say I think when I wrestle the American’s they don’t enjoy it as much as you do. But nonetheless, you’re good enough I think. How much are you making out of this babysitting?

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
Not much…

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Well, I’ll give you my card and you can call me back if you want to come to DUW.

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
What good would I do there? Stand around like a slut all day?

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Well, pretty much. Plus stand at the ring, provide some eye candy in my match and then all the guys can know that you are mine. Plus, there’d be vain, porky American girls for you to beat around.

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
When are you going back out?

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Tomorrow night.

Jennifer picks her phone out from the bedside table and dials a number.

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
Hey guys, Johnny’s at home and I quit…

Jack Purcell laughs as she hangs up the phone. She looks at him as she rolls on top of him.

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
So who are you meant to be facing at your next match?

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Some bitch from this LVW federation. I don’t understand how they could put me against a woman. I mean, I’m not the nicest guy in the world but beating up a girl is just harsh. That is why I want you to do the dirty work for me.

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
But I can’t wrestle!

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
That doesn’t matter, distract the bitch and I’ll roll her up. One, two, three. It will be all over and we can return to our nice hotel and do what ever we want.

They laugh at the suggestive comment that Jack Purcell has just made.

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
That sounds great but can I just ask you this before I get confused out there, what is a roll up? It sounds a bit . . . dirty.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
It’s a type of pin, it basically will mean, I didn’t go round beating a woman, but I might let this badly behaved girl lying next to me get a few shots at her.

Jennifer and Jack laugh as they kiss passionately as Jack rolls over onto her. She pulls her head away and smiles.

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
So I am the equivalent of your manager now?

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Yeah, manager slash girlfriend slash the rest. You’ll love it, it’s going to be hardcore. In more ways than one…

Jennifer Smith |=| Babysitter
I like that kind of stuff. Bash him with a chair then bash…

Jack Purcell puts his finger over the mouth of Jennifer as he raises his eyebrows at her.

Jack Purcell |=| The Newest Breed
Okay, I am going to have to stop you there Jennifer. Some children will probably watch this and I don’t want a fine to be paying for your poor conduct. So I don’t think there is much more to say and when there isn’t much more to say, I think you know what’s on the calendar.

Jennifer smiles and giggles as the two proceed to embrace. The screen fades out slowly to a short commercial interruption from the programme.

Quote :

NOTES
Jennifer Smith Will Now Play The Roll Of My Manager In DUW, I Will Use Here In Most Of My RPs, A Contract Will Be Filled In For Her Tommorow
2000 Words
Good Luck To Andi Markella